Lovely Light

Maybe I will always feel this empty – 

Hollowed out and with very little that I can grasp.

But this is why I linger; this is why I exist;

To fill the space in my mind where all my dreams lie. 

Held by myself like never before,

She held my hand, fingers folded over my wrists.

Rough skin caressed so gently and feeling so soft; lovingly.

Eyes held my gaze, blood rushed from my face.

Arms lifted to cushion my fall, coddled to spare my pain.

She sought to save me from my suffering; the judgement ahead.

Unable to bear the fact I might be alone.

I felt the spirit within rise and tear open my mind. 

The lights that spewed from the world above caught my skin,

It burned into my arms and face, the rain was a blessing. 

Rapture at the cascade scalding life into me. 

Spinning and reaching for each red hot spark; lovely light.

Breathless but no longer with fear – with blinding panic;

Hysteria bursting through the senses but being stolen by her smiles.

Trembling with streaming emotions, uncontainable and joyous –   

Wanting desperately to scream but only able to exhale.

No words arrived; no words were needed or wanted.

I had wished to silence myself, she held my tongue.  

The beautiful emptiness, no meaning or purpose.

I wanted to exist here; I did not want to exist in the other world.