Then we shall know the price for silence.
Her noise is endless, the screaming whines –
I hate her and her awful mind,
The false pretences and courage left behind.
Yet I drill words into her skull,
The desperate will to fight with everything.
I continue to drag her along with me –
Never accepting a complete defeat.
But now I will never feel the same – something snapped.
And the places and faces missed so much,
Made me break down; I had no right to complain.
I willed your eyes to focus on me, to see your glory.
But the fire was weak, the roots dig in deep.
I was not afraid but feeling aside from myself –
Feeling separate from myself.
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