Avoiding Sleep

Blood surges through the system,

And you are destructive and want to tear her casing from her bones.

I hate looking through your eyes, the way you burn holes in their minds –

The open casket that reveals all your flaws and pains,

Painted up and shown up like a disgusting doll face, an empty mantel

Stained with the loads of unforgettable sins and permanent scowls.

And they don’t care, they expect you to take your medicine,

They don’t realise it poisons your systems, it’s like burning fluid.

It makes you forget yourself, it makes you continue to hate yourself.

They can see you can cope, they can see you can struggle –

They expect you to continue, they expect you to care.

And roses want their petals to wither and die and fall away,

I want you to just take all of this shit away.

I don’t want her to live, I don’t want her existence to remain.

I feel her beneath my skin, it’s like a dirty veil sewn into the caul.

And why do you want to hurt him and see him caged?

Is it because he is yours and you think he will escape?  

Like a trapped animal, a beast, awaiting slaughter.

And her body will contain him, swallow him whole and absorb the rest –

The pain of taking it all away and retaining this composure.

I never wanted to conceal it all, I never wanted to pretend it didn't exist.

And now the girl hates this place all the more, now that you remain –

Just a little distant memory or an un-recalled dream I want to devour.