When the feeling arrives the taste is so bitter.
You gag, heave, blood-spitter.
And swallow anything sweet to rid yourself
Of that dark place you put on the shelf.
The memories surface; the degradation, and endless blame.
Head locked in your own crazy game.
And it repeats and repeats and repeats -
Never-ending patterns you are forced to eat.
And they only make it a hell of lot worse,
And still you ignore every warning from the universe.
You continue down the same path to be the good girl
Even if it destroys every part of your hidden world.
Wretched and torn between two roles you try and play
Seeking consolation somehow, someday..
Wishing that I could live my life and just be.
And hoping that one day they will forgive me.
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